Things everyday people do.

 I was at the bank on Friday, I wanted to open an account. I'm now a big girl, abi? I was waiting on the queue to submit my Bvn application slip. There was this girl in a short lemon dress standing on the queue, she was using her eyes to roam round the bank, she looked confused.

Suddenly, a plus sized woman burst in, with an air of authority, I thought she was an important staff or something because she made everyone freeze for some seconds. She walked to where the confused looking girl was and pulled her ear. The girl's face had shock and disbelief written in capital letters. 

"Are there supposed to be two queues?" She hollered at the girl angrily. 

The customer care providers continued staring at their computers furiously and acting like a scene wasn't playing out in front of them. One of them, whose plastic name tag read "Precious" finally looked up and said " please, those of you in the second queue, join the first, please, let this place be organised"

There was a bout of murmurs, especially from the first guy in the second queue, his was the loudest.

" I have been here for how many hours now, nobody is attending to me, now you're asking me to join another queue?" He complained bitterly.

As expected, the two ladies behind the computers ignored him and continued attending to other customers.

The lady who birthed the chaos was standing behind the confused looking girl now. " did you boil the plantain for him to take to school?" She asked. 

" yes, I cook for that man too and I boil water " the girl replied timidly.

The lady then turned to the customer care lady, the one called Precious. 

" please, this is urgent, attend to her, she needs to pick my baby." 

" What is the problem " Precious asked the girl.

" I did not see the bn number, they nor send it" she said in the accent of one who probably stayed in a village before.

" it's not bn, it's Bvn" the plus sized lady laughed. Precious chuckled while tapping at her keyboard.

" give me your phone number" she instructed and the girl obeyed.

" I've seen the issue, you had a bvn before but I asked you if you had an account and you said no, don't you know you once  had an account and that means you have a Bvn?" 

" I no use the account again" the girl replied. 

" e no mean na" Precious laughed.  " we've sent your account number, check your phone" she instructed. 

" I have see it, thank you" she said genuflecting.

" how much can her account accommodate, What's the limit?" The plus sized lady inquired. 

" #500,000" Precious replied.

"Hahahaha" the lady laughed loudly, hitting the girl playfully,she looked like she didn't get the joke. 

" 500k keh, where you wan see #500k?"

"Haba ma, you no want make she blow?" Precious asked trying to contain her laughter. 

The lady laughed even louder. " Ezy, if you get #500,000 I go dey loan money from you oh, shey you go give me?" 

The girl smiled, she felt embarrassed, i could tell. It wasn't funny to her and I felt it was subtle mockery. 

" People sha!" Judith, the other customer care rep said with a shrug.

"Next person!'' Precious said as the plus sized lady and her girl pressed the button on the bank door.

(c) Kafayat Ikhelowa.

-2021.

-Non fiction.